Cooking with Azog
by dwarfsmut
Summary: Fluffy little bit of thorin/azog pairing. Typical meal with an orc


Azog can't cook well and Thorin can't really either but he seems to know how to make soup. One night he cooks up some wild boar stew and Azog doesn't seem to care. Daisy is just interested in whatever can go in her belly so she is snooping around the pot. Azog made a second fire to burn the rest of the carcass Thorin didn't use.

Thorin shakes his head at the orc and continues, giving Daisy samples. At least she seems to care. When he's finished he sits down with his bowl and Azog sits behind him. The orc lifts the dwarf so he's on Azog's lap. Thorin smiles and proceeds to eat while they watch the stars. A hand comes down and drops a thick piece of burnt meat into his stew and pulls it out to eat.

Thorin looks up and spots Azog still watching the stars and dipping in bits of meat unconsciously. Thorin is amused and moves his bowl away and watches the hand dip and return to the orc's mouth. Azog is surprised and looks down at the dwarf looking up at him. He growls and goes for the durin's soup but Thorin refuses.

"You chose your dinner, you will eat what you made."

Azog growls and goes back to eating his repulsive meat. Thorin eats his soup again and frowns.

"You defiled it, it tastes like black coal. Here you eat it then."

Thorin gave the bowl to Azog and left the orc's lap, heading towards the stew pot. Daisy sat a few steps away licking her lips. Thorin gazed into the pot and frowned at Daisy.

"Daisy… Where is it…"

Daisy licked her lip again before laying down and turning her back to Thorin. The dwarf growled.

"You are no better than your master…"

Thorin gave up and sat with his back against Daisy, his stomach rumbled and the food that was left was too burnt to even keep down. He figured Azog's blood was black as a result of eating coal for so many years. While Thorin rested, Azog stood and left. Thorin eyed the orc disappearing into the woods but paid no mind.

Azog returned an hour later with a fresh carcass and filled the stew pot with new water. He began to make a stew but wasn't paying attention when Thorin did it. Thorin watched with a grin on his face and stepped in when he knew Azog was going to ruin it again. He said nothing as he stood beside Azog and added ingredients while the orc stirred. He could hear Azog wanting to growl at him and shoo him away.

"Your constant growling is what burns the meat everytime. Do not burn the stew with it."

A slight lie but Azog seemed befuddled. He stopped growling and sulked instead. The smell pleased the orc and he scooped a bit of meat for a nibble. Thorin smacked it out of the spoon with his own and pointed at Azog.

"You will curse it if you eat it now. Wait or it will turn into ash."

Thorin couldn't help but lie when it came to protecting his food. The thought of eating ash again made Azog behave at least. Thorin covered the pot and pulled the orc away to let the stew simmer. They rested against Daisy who turned and provided them warmth. Thorin went back to sitting on Azog's lap.

They continued to gaze at the stars and Azog entertained his fingers with Thorin's hair. Thorin started to drift off from the stroking and fell asleep. Azog held him close and listened to the dwarf's snoring combined with Daisy's. Soon he fell asleep with them.

They woke in the morning as a stench filled their nostrils. Azog didn't seem too bothered but Thorin covered his nose. His face flooded with horror as he realized the stew was burnt. Slowly he opened the lid and grimaced at the sight. The liquid was gone and the pot was lined with black crust.

Azog's towered over the dwarf curiously wanting to find out how his stew turned out. Thorin looked up at Azog with shame on his face.

"We burnt it…"

Azog's face dropped sadly and Thorin could see the orc's hidden excitement destroyed. He grabbed Azog's hand and held it against his face.

"I'll make a new one."

The news didn't cheer the orc up at all and Thorin stared at him longer.

"Will you help me?"

Azog frowned and walked away, stroking Daisy's head instead. Thorin smiled and joined, petting the warg's fur.

"I'll reward you if you assist me."

Azog's lip curled into a grin and he grabbed the dwarf and tossed him onto Daisy. He buried his nose in Thorin's neck and sniffed his way to the top of the dwarf's head. Thorin chuckled and looked up at Azog.

"Deal?"

Azog nodded and they tried again. This time they were successful and gave Daisy a carcass to keep herself preoccupied. Azog was pleased with himself and ate most of it. Thorin had to protect his bowl from the hungry orc the entire time. They finished with full bellies and sat together. Thorin rested against Azog and chuckled when the orc sniffed him again.

"Now? Can you not wait till our food has settled in our stomachs?"

Azog shook his head and growled lovingly into Thorin's neck. Thorin chuckled and gave in.

"Fine, your turn."


End file.
